44 Days of the Omer. That is 6 Weeks and 2 Days.
Gevurot shebe Malchut
Strength/Judgment/Boundaries within Nobility/Sovereignty
Wednesday evening June 5 and Thursday June 6
I’ve been waiting to see her for 44 days, and now in this last week before Shavuot my capacity for writing every day has become more limited. I started learning modern Hebrew four days a week and that has consumed a lot of my time and mental energy.
I’ve been waiting for her for 44 days and I’m having a hard time finding words.
For much, much longer than 44 days I’ve imagined the musical version of Megillat Esther from the 1960s or 70s with Barbara Streisand as Esther. . . and now I’m imagining the 2024 version with Barbara as a mature Esther and thinking she should probably direct it, too. I have imagined the drama version with Sarah Podemski and the action film version with Gal Gadot. Rashida Jones can get in there, too, maybe make a dark comedy. I want all the versions of this story. This story in which a young woman raised by, as I see him, a some-way-queer, Torah-knowledgeable uncle (the Talmud has him unable to find a wetnurse and nursing baby Esther himself when she was orphaned, you can look it up), is taken against her will to a palace. There she employs everything she has and everything she is - her knowledge, intelligence, wit, charm, strategic skills, and relationships - to outsmart the king and the villain. Hers is not a complete victory. In the end she is still married to the power-hungry king. Ours is not a complete victory in this story, either. We are still attacked, a battle wages, sides are drawn, some on our side die, many of those on the other side die, and in the end we get some years of peace and a holiday for all time.
I want to be in the tent listening when Esther, Batya, Miriam, and Yocheved stay up all night talking strategy. I want to be standing beside them when Esther and Ruth rinse their feet in the river to cool them and share stories about their families. I want to have my own cup of tea and be sitting near the fire when Esther, Judith, Yael, and Deborah reminisce about directly confronting power. I want to be a silent witness when Esther and Dina hold each other in deep understanding.
Most of all I want more time with her, but . . .
If an Omer is a measurement of enoughness . . .
If each day is enough and I am enough for each day, then . . .
This is what I have with her and for now it must also be enough.
See you at Sinai.
How to say the blessing:
Choose the language that resonates with you the most.
Non-gendered Hebrew based on grammar system built by Lior Gross and Eyal Rivlin,
available at www.nonbinaryhebrew.com
Gender Expansive:
הִנְנִי מוּכָנֶה וּמְזֻמֶּנֶה …
Hineni muchaneh um’zumeneh …
Here I am, ready and prepared …
Feminine:
הִנְנִי מוּכָנָה וּמְזֻמֶּנֶת …
Hineni muchanah um’zumenet …
Here I am, ready and prepared …
Masculine:
הִנְנִי מוּכָן וּמְזֻמַן …
Hineni muchan um’zuman …
Here I am, ready and prepared …
All Continue:
… לְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב בַּתּוֹרָה וּסְפַרְתֶּם לָכֶם מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת
מִיּוֹם הַבִיאֳכֶם אֶת עֹמֶר הַתְּנוּפָה שֶׁבַע שַׁבָּתוֹת תְּמִימוֹת תִּהְיֶנָה. עַד מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת
הַשְּׁבִיעִית תִּסְפְּרוּ חֲמִשִּׁים יוֹם וְהִקְרַבְתֶם מִנְחָה חֲדָשָה לַיי
… lekayyem mitzvat aseh shel sefirat ha-omer, kemo shekatuv batorah: us’fartem lakhem mimacharat hashabbat, miyom havi’akhem et omer hat’nufah, sheva shabbatot temimot tih’yena, ad mimacharat hashabbat hash’vi’it tis’peru khamishim yom, vehikravtem minkha khadasha l’adonai.
… to fulfill the mitzvah of counting the Omer, as it is written in the Torah: And you shall count for yourselves from the day after the Shabbat, from the day on which you bring the sheaf of the wave-offering, you shall count seven full weeks. Until the day after the seventh Shabbat, you shall count fifty days, until you bring a new gift to the Eternal.
Gender-Expansive Language for God
בְּרוּכֶה אַתֶּה יי אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ חֵי הָעוֹלָמִים אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשֶׁנוּ בְּמִצַוְּתֶהּ וְצִוֶּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר
Brucheh ateh Adonai, Eloheinu khei ha’olamim, asher kidshenu bemitzvoteh v’tzivenu al sefirat ha’omer.
Blessed are You, Eternal, Life of all worlds who has made us holy with Their commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.
Feminine Language for God
בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ יָ-הּ אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ רוּחַ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוְּתָהּ וְצִוָּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר
Bruchah at Yah, ru’akh ha’olam asher kidshanu bemitzvotah v’tzivanu al sefirat ha’omer
Blessed are You, Yah, our God, Spirit of the universe who has made us holy with Her commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.
Masculine Language for God
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר
Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melekh ha’olam asher kidshanu bemitzvotav v’tzivanu al sefirat ha’omer.
Blessed are You, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has made us holy with His commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.
Count the day and week
Today is the _________ day, which is _________ weeks and _________ days of the Omer.
Today:
הַיּוֹם אַרְבָּעָה וְאַרְבָּעִים יוֹם
שֶׁהֵם שִׁשָּׁה שָׁבוּעוֹת
וּשְׁנֵי יָמִים לָעוֹמֶר.
Hayom arba’ah v’arba’im yom
shehem shishah shavuot u sh’nei yamim la’omer
Today is forty-four days.
That is six weeks and two days of the Omer.
Sefirat HaOmer Blessing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8hCiPI1tMQ