34 Days of the Omer. That is 4 Weeks and 6 Days.

Pixabay Pexels

Yesod shebe Hod
Foundation in Gratitude
Sunday evening May 26 and Monday May 27
Psalm 118:21-24
Odecha ki anitani, I thank You, for You have answered me,
va'tehi li liyeshua, and have become my rescue.
Even ma'asu habonim, the stone the builders rejected
haytah lerosh pinah, has become the most important cornerstone
Me'et adonai hay'ta zot, this is God’s doing
hi nifla'at be'eineinu, it is marvelous in our sight
Zeh hayom asah adonai, this is the day that God has made
nagila ve'nismecha bo, let us exult and be joyful on it.

His voice is firm, “Moses always said the worst thing that could happen to us would be that we would forget the promise made to our ancestors, how they were taken from slavery to freedom and sustained for forty years in the wilderness, and brought into the land. We are a people with our history engraved on our souls and reenacted in our holidays, our achievements never attributed to ourselves but always to something higher than ourselves. We are not the sole authors of what is good in our lives. The first words we say each morning - Modeh Ani, “I thank you” - mean that we begin each day by giving thanks.”

“Oh, Jonathan, just look at the light dancing on the water. Isn’t it lovely?”

He looks at her with soft eyes, smiles, nods, and tucks her hand into his arm. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and his wife Elaine have been holding hands as they walk. He is wearing a yellow tie and a blue suit. She is wearing a red dress. 

“She’s brilliant, you know,” says a man walking near me.
“Excuse me?”
“Brilliant. She trained to be a radiographer at Cambridge, but in their over 50 years together she has never needed any equipment to see right through him.”

I look at the man more closely. The yellow undertones of his skin soak in the slanted light as the day settles into evening. His eyes are green like the leaves of an olive tree. ‘Modah ani lefanecha, I give thanks before You for my soul,’ I think. Then I know who he is. This is Judah. Yehudah. When he was born, his mother Leah said, “This time I will give thanks to God,” and named him. “Odeh et Adonai,” she said. “Sh’mo Yehudah,” and named him Yehudah.

“What do you think of the premise?” Judah asks me.
“The premise?”
“That the worst thing would be to forget the promise, and maybe more essentially forget that we are not the sole authors of all that is good in our lives,” he explains.
I consider that. “It has merit,” I say. “I think taking the premise seriously leads to living a better and more meaningful life.”
“Do you agree with the premise that it would be the worst thing?” he asks.
“Do you?” 
Judah turns to look at me a moment and then continues walking.
We are quiet for a while. 

I realize that I don’t know much about the shoresh, the root letters, of his name and I look them up. Yud, dalet, hey. Hodaya, a prayer of thanks. Lehodot, to acknowledge, to thank. Todah, gratitude, an interjection of ‘thank you.’ These words I knew already. But then I come to another possibility. In the Talmud when one rabbi concedes a point to another, the Hebrew word is “modeh” as in “Rabbi Akiva modeh . . .” - Rabbi Akiva concedes the point, acknowledges that someone else is correct. Yud dalet hey is also the root of not needing to always be right, perhaps of being able to see alternative possibilities through other’s perspectives. Maybe, I think, seeking out another’s perspective. 

“I sold Joseph,” Judah says now. “I didn’t kill him, but I sold him - my own brother.”
“He was arrogant,” I say. 
“He was,” Judah agrees.
“Your father’s favorite. It was unfair,” I add.
Judah agrees again.
“You shouldn’t have sold him,” I say.
“I did wrong by him,” Judah concedes. “I did wrong by my daughter-in-law Tamar, too.”
“But then you and Tamar became the parents of the twins Perez and Zerah, and Perez is one of Boaz’s ancestors,” I point out.
Judah smiles, “I am rather proud to count Boaz among my descendants.”
I look more closely at Judah’s eyes, that green echoed through time, I think. 
“The Torah is not tautological,” says Judah. “Our stories are not made up of either it will rain or it will not rain, we will cross the sea or we will not cross it.”
“It is either a potato or not a potato,” I say.
“Exactly,” Judah nods. “There are stories like that, but that is not the Torah as a whole. It was never so simple that either Boaz would be or Boaz would not be. The question was, I think, ‘How would Boaz be?’”
“Or, maybe, ‘Who would become Boaz?’” I ask.
Judah nods, “As much as who would Boaz become. Or who would Judah become.”
These last weren’t exactly questions. I’m not sure how to punctuate them. 

“Do you know, when I spoke up to Joseph on behalf of Benjamin, when I didn’t know he was Joseph, he challenged me. ‘Why are you speaking up? You are not the eldest. You are not the first born. Let Reuben speak! What are you doing?’ He was correct. I am not the eldest. I am not the firstborn. I am also not the wisest, the most humble, the strongest, the most articulate, the kindest . . . there are many things I am not.”

I think of all of Leah’s children, Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Isaachar, Zebulun, and Dina - Judah right in the middle. The fulcrum. 

“You saved Benjamin that day, and his descendent Esther went on to save Judah,” I point out. 
“Is it a rescue if it was you who caused the initial danger?” Judah asks. 
“Did you, though?” I press. “Your dad. . .and his parents . . .and theirs . . .what was the initial cause anyway? I think . . .” I look over at him, uncertain, “I think the worst thing would be if we forget that we can face what is in front of us now, informed and strengthened by all we are and have been, and change directions when a new direction is the right direction.” 
Judah looks back at me, not crying, just . . . misty.
“We aren’t the sole authors of everything that is good in our lives,” he says.
“No,” I agree, “we aren’t. We also aren’t the sole authors of everything that isn’t good. The books of our lives are collaborations.” 
“Collaborators,” he smiles. “I like that very much. Todah rabbah,” he says. “Thank you for walking together.”
“Besimcha,” I say. My pleasure.

I can hear Joey Weisenberg singing Odecha, Psalm 118, somewhere nearby.
Odecha ki anitani, I thank You, You have answered me. 
The stars are just beginning to flicker as dusk becomes night.
In their lights I see letters - glowing yuds and dalets and heys - beacons in the darkness. 

See you at Sinai.

How to say the blessing:
Choose the language that resonates with you the most.
Non-gendered Hebrew based on grammar system built by Lior Gross and Eyal Rivlin,
available at www.nonbinaryhebrew.com 

Gender Expansive:

הִנְנִי מוּכָנֶה וּמְזֻמֶּנֶה …

Hineni muchaneh um’zumeneh …

Here I am, ready and prepared …

Feminine:

הִנְנִי מוּכָנָה וּמְזֻמֶּנֶת …

Hineni muchanah um’zumenet …

Here I am, ready and prepared …

Masculine:

הִנְנִי מוּכָן וּמְזֻמַן …

Hineni muchan um’zuman …

Here I am, ready and prepared …

All Continue:

… לְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב בַּתּוֹרָה וּסְפַרְתֶּם לָכֶם מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת
מִיּוֹם הַבִיאֳכֶם אֶת עֹמֶר הַתְּנוּפָה שֶׁבַע שַׁבָּתוֹת תְּמִימוֹת תִּהְיֶנָה. עַד מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת
הַשְּׁבִיעִית תִּסְפְּרוּ חֲמִשִּׁים יוֹם וְהִקְרַבְתֶם מִנְחָה חֲדָשָה לַיי

… lekayyem mitzvat aseh shel sefirat ha-omer, kemo shekatuv batorah: us’fartem lakhem mimacharat hashabbat, miyom havi’akhem et omer hat’nufah, sheva shabbatot temimot tih’yena, ad mimacharat hashabbat hash’vi’it tis’peru khamishim yom, vehikravtem minkha khadasha l’adonai.

 … to fulfill the mitzvah of counting the Omer, as it is written in the Torah: And you shall count for yourselves from the day after the Shabbat, from the day on which you bring the sheaf of the wave-offering, you shall count seven full weeks. Until the day after the seventh Shabbat, you shall count fifty days, until you bring a new gift to the Eternal.

Gender-Expansive Language for God

בְּרוּכֶה אַתֶּה יי אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ חֵי הָעוֹלָמִים אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשֶׁנוּ בְּמִצַוְּתֶהּ וְצִוֶּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר

Brucheh ateh Adonai, Eloheinu khei ha’olamim, asher kidshenu bemitzvoteh v’tzivenu al sefirat ha’omer. 

Blessed are You, Eternal, Life of all worlds who has made us holy with Their commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.

Feminine Language for God

בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ יָ-הּ אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ רוּחַ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוְּתָהּ וְצִוָּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר

Bruchah at Yah, ru’akh ha’olam asher kidshanu bemitzvotah v’tzivanu al sefirat ha’omer

Blessed are You, Yah, our God, Spirit of the universe who has made us holy with Her commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.

Masculine Language for God

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melekh ha’olam asher kidshanu bemitzvotav v’tzivanu al sefirat ha’omer.

Blessed are You, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has made us holy with His commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.

Count the day and week

Today is the _________ day, which is _________ weeks and _________ days of the Omer.

Today:

הַיּוֹם אַרְבָּעָה וּשְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם
שֶׁהֵם אַרְבָּעָה שָׁבוּעוֹת וְשִׁשָּׁה יָמִים לָעוֹמֶר.

Hayom arba’ah u’shloshim yom
shehem arba’ah shavuot v’shishah yamim la’omer

Today is thirty-four days.
That is four weeks and six days of the Omer.

Sefirat HaOmer Blessing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8hCiPI1tMQ