29 Days of the Omer. That is 4 Weeks and 1 Day.

A splendid goat.

Chesed shebe Hod
Lovingkindness in splendor/gratitude
Tuesday evening May 21 and Wednesday May 22

“What’s your favorite country? Besides Israel. Mine are North Macedonia - I don’t know why, it just used to be part of Yugoslavia when there was a Yugoslavia, and Argentina because my zaide is from there.”
“Germany because when I go there I see my grandma. Also, did you ever notice that lots of places in the world look like goats? I was looking at my Atlas and I saw it!”

“What?”

“Yeah. I mean, like if you look up above where Europe is, those . . . that land . . . it’s . . .”

Class ended 10 minutes ago, but we look at a map together.
8 minutes ago we were listening to one of the students play piano.
5 minutes ago we were talking about how cool it is that libraries loan instruments as well as books because if there is anywhere that is for real magic in the world it’s probably libraries. 

Now we are talking about this. 

“Yeah, right there.”
“That’s Scandinavia.”
“Okay, so thank you. Yes. Scandinavia. Can you see it?”
“A goat?”
“Well, like the head of a goat.”
“How?”
“Where”
“Right . . . I’ll annotate for everybody. Right here.”

The rest of us are quiet. 

“You see it?”
I can’t read minds, but we . . . do not see it.
We are all tilting our heads to try to see it,  but we  . . . do not see it. 
“I . . .”
“Maybe looking this way . . .”
“I could try looking on my globe?”
“I really want you to see it! I want you to see what I see!”

Heads tilt the other way. 

“Ohhhhhh yeaaaahhhhhhhhh. I . . . yeah . . . I can see what you see! It’s . . . a goat.”
“The head of a goat.”
“Yeaaaah, exactly. It’s the head of a goat. I see what you see.”
“Me, too.”
“Yeah, so do I.”

We didn’t. But . . . the youngest of us, my student who actually saw the shape of a goat head on the map, beams.

Today in our last class of this school year, we wrote warm fuzzies, a.k.a. chesed notes, to each other. The students haven’t seen them yet, and even when they do I’ll know something they don’t because I have the teacher’s view. I’ll know that they told one another that thing you wrote in the chat was so kind, and you are a good listener because you consider everyone’s ‘sayings’, and you are a very talented musician because you make up your own songs, and I want you to be happy so I hope you get to pet all of the cats you want to this summer, and this class wouldn’t have been the same without you. And when they couldn’t think of something specific they wrote things like, “I’m just so glad we got to be in this class together” and “I’m so glad I know you.” 

I think in some essential way Chesed is saying, “You have my attention.”
“You are worth my attention.”
Maybe it’s, “You have my attention and even when I can’t see the goat shape you can see, I see that you see it, and I say so.”  Maybe Chesed is really, “I see you.”

Full disclosure, I’m writing this a day late. I’m trying to catch up. Again.
But last night, in another class, a class of adults, one of my adult students said maybe the relationship between gratitude and splendor in Hod is that when we have gratitude we are able to have a spontaneous sense of wonder. That feels like one way this could be true. 

Hod is the eighth sephira, Hod sits below Gevurah and across from Netzach. Yesod is to the south-east. Hod has four paths which lead to Gevurah, Tiferet, Netzach, and Yesod. Each sephira is connected with a different part of the body and the full tree of sephirot to a homunculus. That’s a new word for me this week. It means “little person” or a small human being. Netzach and Hod are the two feet, left and right. Our feet bring us to a place of intention. Netzach conquers the obstacles in our way and Hod helps us see an obstacle as a stimulus. One foot keeps on keeping on despite obstacles, and the other foot keeps on keeping on because of them. 

Tonight I think maybe Hod is recognizing that we can’t see the goat on the map, but that’s okay because it’s not really the goat on the map we are looking for. We are looking for the classmate, the student, who sees the goat on the map. Him we can see. 

Maybe Chesed is also how we know what we are actually looking for.

See you at Sinai.

How to say the blessing:
Choose the language that resonates with you the most.
Non-gendered Hebrew based on grammar system built by Lior Gross and Eyal Rivlin,
available at www.nonbinaryhebrew.com 

Gender Expansive:

הִנְנִי מוּכָנֶה וּמְזֻמֶּנֶה …

Hineni muchaneh um’zumeneh …

Here I am, ready and prepared …

Feminine:

הִנְנִי מוּכָנָה וּמְזֻמֶּנֶת …

Hineni muchanah um’zumenet …

Here I am, ready and prepared …

Masculine:

הִנְנִי מוּכָן וּמְזֻמַן …

Hineni muchan um’zuman …

Here I am, ready and prepared …

All Continue:

… לְקַיֵּם מִצְוַת עֲשֵׂה שֶׁל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב בַּתּוֹרָה וּסְפַרְתֶּם לָכֶם מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת
מִיּוֹם הַבִיאֳכֶם אֶת עֹמֶר הַתְּנוּפָה שֶׁבַע שַׁבָּתוֹת תְּמִימוֹת תִּהְיֶנָה. עַד מִמָּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת
הַשְּׁבִיעִית תִּסְפְּרוּ חֲמִשִּׁים יוֹם וְהִקְרַבְתֶם מִנְחָה חֲדָשָה לַיי

… lekayyem mitzvat aseh shel sefirat ha-omer, kemo shekatuv batorah: us’fartem lakhem mimacharat hashabbat, miyom havi’akhem et omer hat’nufah, sheva shabbatot temimot tih’yena, ad mimacharat hashabbat hash’vi’it tis’peru khamishim yom, vehikravtem minkha khadasha l’adonai.

 … to fulfill the mitzvah of counting the Omer, as it is written in the Torah: And you shall count for yourselves from the day after the Shabbat, from the day on which you bring the sheaf of the wave-offering, you shall count seven full weeks. Until the day after the seventh Shabbat, you shall count fifty days, until you bring a new gift to the Eternal.

Gender-Expansive Language for God

בְּרוּכֶה אַתֶּה יי אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ חֵי הָעוֹלָמִים אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשֶׁנוּ בְּמִצַוְּתֶהּ וְצִוֶּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר

Brucheh ateh Adonai, Eloheinu khei ha’olamim, asher kidshenu bemitzvoteh v’tzivenu al sefirat ha’omer. 

Blessed are You, Eternal, Life of all worlds who has made us holy with Their commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.

Feminine Language for God

בְּרוּכָה אַתְּ יָ-הּ אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ רוּחַ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוְּתָהּ וְצִוָּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר

Bruchah at Yah, ru’akh ha’olam asher kidshanu bemitzvotah v’tzivanu al sefirat ha’omer

Blessed are You, Yah, our God, Spirit of the universe who has made us holy with Her commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.

Masculine Language for God

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱ-לֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל סְפִירַת הָעֹמֶר

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melekh ha’olam asher kidshanu bemitzvotav v’tzivanu al sefirat ha’omer.

Blessed are You, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has made us holy with His commandments, and commanded us to count the Omer.

Count the day and week

Today is the _________ day, which is _________ weeks and _________ days of the Omer.

Today:

הַיּוֹם תִּשְׁעָה וְעֶשְׂריִם יוֹם
שֶׁהֵם  אַרְבָּעָה שָׁבוּעוֹת וְיוֹם אֶחָד לָעוֹמֶר.

Hayom tishah v‘esrim yom
shehem arba’ah shavuot v’yom echad la’omer

Today is twenty-nine days of the Omer.
That is four weeks and one day of the Omer.
Sefirat HaOmer Blessing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8hCiPI1tMQ