Theo, As We Welcome You Into the Covenant

It’s such an honor to be invited to name the babies of my former students who I knew as children themselves, and whose weddings I also officiated. In 2021 we welcomed Josie and today we welcomed her 8-day-old little brother. Mazel Tov, Heather and Oliver! I’m so glad you are parents. Much love.

Theo, I have the honor of telling you about your Hebrew name:
Natan’el Yacov. 
Your parents are very good at many things. They are exceptionally good at knowing a blessing when they see it and at welcoming blessings however they arrive. When they were thinking about what your name would be, they told me their children are blessings given to them from God. A true gift.

Your Hebrew name Natan’el means God gave, and maybe some people would say just telling you that would be enough, but of course there is so much more to say!

The letter nun, which has two forms: the form it takes in the beginning and middle of words and the form it takes as a final letter - represents giving. If we listen to the word “natan” - “gave”, we can hear that it starts and ends with this same letter. נָתַן The letter nun itself represents giving, and this word teaches us the reciprocal nature of giving. When one gives to another person, the love of the giving comes back to them in some way. It will look differently than it did when it was given, just as the final nun has changed at the end of the word, so we have to watch for it, listen for it, and recognize it for the blessing it is when it arrives. It’s not that we give so that we can receive, or receive so we can give, but rather that we should understand that giving and receiving are just naturally in relationship with each other. 

I see that in your parents’ relationship and the way they love one another. I’ve known them for a pretty long time now, and as I’ve known them, in their relationship with each other, they receive and give and give and receive like breathing. I’ve seen that in the ways they parent, too. Your parents are a fantastic team. The best. They already know you are a gift to them. I’m here to say, they are also a gift to you. 

It is said that because the numerical value of nun is 50, and 50 is known as the age of wisdom, a person with a nun in their name has extra access to wisdom and knowledge and seeks out good advice. May it be so especially because the second part of your Hebrew name is Yacov. Yacov means ‘someone who grabs by the heel’ which some interpret to mean one who chooses their own path, and that’s the meaning that inspired your parents to choose this name. 

The Torah portion from the week you were born is Toldot which tells the beginning of Jacob’s story. It has themes of truth and deceit and family and among its questions asks what it means to be a brother. This week is Vayeitze, which continues the story of Jacob, also carries these same themes, and among its questions asks what it means to be a person. Both questions are wrestled with, and both go unanswered until much later in the Torah. It takes a long time for Jacob, for Yacov, to grow into his name and to choose his own path. For most of his story, he’s reacting more than acting. Often our ancestor Yacov has a hard time figuring out the path he should take. The elders in his life aren’t reliable advisors, and if he found a wise person, or wise people, from whom he could seek out good advice, we don’t get to hear that story in the text. But, the story goes by so fast, and we do get glimpses that he’s not alone on his journey. For one thing, before reuniting with his brother, he is stopped by an angel, who holds him there for the whole night while they wrestle. Sometimes just being invited to pause and think and consider before moving forward is a kind of wisdom. And here is something else we know about Yacov - because he wrestles, because he figures out what his own path truly is, because he becomes a leader of both his family and a people . . . God gives him a second name: Israel. 

Yacov’s path had a lot of twists and turns and bumps. There were many times he needed to change directions. He didn’t have any elders or friends to turn to for help. It must have often been scary and lonely. We can look backward at a story, but like our ancestor Yacov, we have to live our lives forward. Also like him, we don’t know what’s ahead of us. 

Theo, we have a sacred tradition of midrash, of finding words in the white spaces between the ink. We also have a special way of understanding time. Not only does the past inform the future, the present can also inform - and heal - the past. 

Let’s put those two ideas together:
When God later told Yacov:

וְהָיָה זַרְעֲךָ כַּעֲפַר הָאָרֶץ
V’haya zaracha ka’afar ha’aretz
Your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth . . .
God meant us. God meant you. 

וְהִנֵּה אָנֹכִי עִמָּךְ
And then God said: 
V’hinei anochi imach . . . 
Notice, I am with you . . .
(Genesis 28:14-15)

Natan’el Yacov, what a gift you are not only to us here today, but also to our ancestor Yacov. Your very being whispers to him across the years and centuries and millennia that God’s promise that he would have descendants was true. You are in the white spaces between the inked letters of that promise. You are the world ahead of all of our ancestors. And maybe if Yacov could rely on those words, then when God said, “V’hinei anochi imach . . .” (I am with you), he could really believe them, too. 

In Jewish mystical tradition, there are no things, there are only words. The Divine Words of Creation. Devarim, the word for words and things is the same. Life is the interpretation of the words God gives us. The path we choose is the story we tell with them. 

Theo, you arrived at the very moment our world and could not possibly have continued to exist without you. May we all be the elders and advisors you need, and may we live to enjoy the blessing - the gift - of being part of your story.

May your name strengthen and soften you, and may you be known among our people as Natan’el Yacov.

Ken Yehi Ratzon.

Gratitude to Dr. Laurie Radovsky, Mohelet.