Love is Boss: Birth Control in Honduras

Originally Posted on the GoFundMe Page.

Birth control. It was me, not Miguel, who wanted to talk about it.

“This kinda makes me uncomfortable,” he wrote, “talking about something so personal as sex in order to raise money! I know that’s not YOUR thinking, but I want to avoid ANYONE thinking that!”

Our worlds are more than a little different, mine and Miguel’s. First of all there’s the obvious: I live in Minnesota with financial stability and abundant creature comforts while he lives in Honduras with a community of folks living the reality of poverty every day. Also, I am a Jewish educator and a rabbi, and I’ve been teaching - among other things like Hebrew and the Jewish holidays and the animals that live in the land of Israel - Jewish sex and sexuality education for about twenty years now. Miguel is Catholic and as far as I know his teaching focus was Spanish and English literature. 

We are both people of faith whose religious traditions and teachings inform everything in our lives.
We both care deeply about people and understand our responsibility to one another expansively. 
We are both beyond grateful for the support of each of you and want to be honest with you.

Miguel has a list of every name of every person who has ever contributed to this GoFundMe and he prays for all of us every day. 

I know some of us in this community are Jewish, and not necessarily Jewish the way I am Jewish. I know some of us are Catholic, and not necessarily Catholic the way Miguel is Catholic. In our community here are Christians from I don’t even know how many denominations. We are also Muslim. We are also committedly non-religious. Among all of the traditions with which we affiliate and don't, some of us believe in God and some of us don’t. 

I believe all of us are informed by our own values, and I think the very nature of what we are doing together means we have a self-selected group of people who care about others and are intentional about living our values.

Not long ago, I received two messages, practically in a row, from two of you who were curious about whether we help the women in Honduras who want birth control to get access to it. Your messages reminded me that several months ago another person had written asking the same question, and I don’t think I ever fully answered it. 

I hear Miguel’s discomfort, and I respect it.

I also know that the primary goal of the GoFundMe platform is to raise money, and that’s certainly a critical goal of THIS GoFundMe. Without raising money to send to Miguel, anything else we do wouldn’t be of much use. However, I also see this GoFundMe as a space to help us - myself included - be more connected to the lives of our neighbors in Honduras *through* Miguel. I believe that connection requires honesty and learning more about the place and the people with whom we are connected when we can.

We’ve spent time thinking about access to clean water, housing options, religion, and transportation. Let’s spend some time thinking about family planning, pregnancy, and birth control. 

However we feel about any of these realities, I think we need to know them:Honduras has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Central America according to the Guttmacher Institute. Fewer than one-third of all women aged 20-24 overall and only one-in-seven in rural areas have completed primary school. Less education is correlated with early child bearing. One-third of 15-24-year-old mothers did not make a single prenatal care visit, and the same proportion gave birth without a medical professional in attendance. According to the United Nations, Honduras is one of the most violent countries in the world with particularly high rates of sexual violence. Emergency contraception and abortion are illegal in all circumstances. Codigo Penal [Penal Code], supra note 3. Art. 126

In 2018 there were over four million Catholics in Honduras, around 37% of the total population, divided into eight dioceses and one archdiocese. 39% identify as Protestant, 21% are unaffiliated, and 3% fit into the general “other” category which we learned before includes the few Muslims and even fewer Jews who live there. The country demographics and Miguel’s religious beliefs make it relevant to consider the issue of birth control through that lens and with his words.   

“I don’t want to imply that anyone is breaking the rules of the Catholic Church, much less resisting or questioning such rules,” he wrote. “In Honduras, religion is folded into one’s daily life. For a person struggling with poverty (90% of the population!), faith may be the one thing that lets you see farther than just your empty table. Any question like, how are you going to celebrate your little boy’s birthday tomorrow? Is answered with a “0” formed by a thumb and finger. “No hay pisto.” No money.

Over the years, as prices rise and possibilities shrink, it’s harder and harder to keep a family, as the current phrase puts it, “food secure” with a little field of corn and beans, planted and maintained by mom and dad and the kids. So folks are opting for smaller families now, using various methods of birth control, available free at the local clinic, everything from condoms to pills to injections, and in some places diaphragms.  

Some may see a contradiction here. Isn’t Honduras a Catholic country? Since I started coming here, in 1977, evangelicals and pentecostals and Protestants have eclipsed the Catholic majority. But even the strictest defenders of Catholic doctrine, which prohibits birth control, turn a merciful eye on the challenges of the poor. In fact, Pope Paul VI, who wrote “Humanae Vitae” in 1968, which reinforced traditional prohibitions, made the point that, in an emergency, the rules change and reality takes the lead. He even allowed nuns in the Congo to take “the pill” because of the threat of rape. Poverty is an emergency.”

Do we, through this GoFundMe, help with the costs of transportation to clinics for birth control?

Absolutely we do.

We’ve helped young women who wanted to stay in school longer prevent pregnancy. We’ve helped women who already have children care for those children by preventing more pregnancies - at least for the time being. We’ve helped women who had medically dangerous pregnancies prevent pregnancy.  

Miguel also wants to bring to our attention that, “On the other hand, there are real sins here.” He wrote about how common abandonment is. A couple gets pregnant and the man hangs around long enough for the birth and then, as Miguel puts it, “invents some conflict” and is gone - as if the child never existed. “So many young mothers come to my door for help,” he says. He asks, “Where is the father?” “No hay,” they say. There is no father. It’s as if for him the child never existed. By law in Honduras, a father should support his child, but that isn’t enforced. There are also those who “take advantage of mentally handicapped girls, too innocent to recognize a threat, and word gets around, [and she becomes the mother of] five or six children - [all half-siblings].

As I say every time I send an update, what we really need is a minimum of $2,000 each month. Anything you can contribute toward that is an enormous help. If you want to donate, you can do that right here.

If you ever want to designate your contribution to something in particular, you can add a note with your donation or you can message me privately. (Something you can do through the platform.)

Here is a bit of a breakdown for some of the ongoing needs, recognizing that the second half of the month is always the hardest financially:Orlin, Victor, Ever, Elí, and Ana Cristina get about 500 Lempiras ($20) of groceries a week. That’s $100 a week, for the whole month: $400.

About 14-18 other people need help here and there with groceries, and that amounts to another approximately $225 so far for July.

Little ones need Gatorade and salted crackers for fevers and upset stomachs, and dehydration. These symptoms are really common in children and it’s amazing how often the Gatorade we funded may have saved a young child’s life. $100

Lila and Dania each need eggs, cheese, and juice to help provide a good breakfast for them and their families every day, along with beans and tortillas. A carton of eggs and a pound of cheese in Honduras is $6. The juice adds about $2 each. $8 each day for one full meal each day for two families in a 30 day month is $240.

And the birthdays! Usually 2-3 a month, at about $35 a birthday for a cake and a full meal for a family.

In addition, we need to pay back some credit at Abel and Belinda’s stores. Miguel backs that credit and it pays for food, diapers, and other day to day necessities of folks in the community. Miguel got behind with them covering the medical emergencies in April, May, and June. It all really adds up. 

An anonymous donor helped with $500 of that credit which leaves $1500.

If any of you are able to help out with another chunk of that credit, Abel and Belinda would really appreciate it.

As always, thank you for caring, thank you for sharing, and thank you for being part of this community of people who love big.